She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
