sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Randomize
