Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
