hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
