playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
So much Jack, so little girl.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
