? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
