i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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