Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Randomize
