Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
