escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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