He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
