the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize