I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
