just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
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