So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Randomize
