Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
