I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
