If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
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