Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
