If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
her facebook's as public as her vagina
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
