Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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