HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
