he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
