Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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