so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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