remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
