margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize