Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize