i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Randomize
