I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
