he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
