I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Randomize
