He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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