I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
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