I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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