I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
