mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
