you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
