so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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