I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
