make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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