What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Dicks are not precious.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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