I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Randomize
