Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
