Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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