My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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