i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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