my room smells like sperm. sweet.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Randomize
