she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
