Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
i now understand why vodka
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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