do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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