Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Randomize
