Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
