he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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