Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
