Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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