so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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