2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Randomize
