Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
