I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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