I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
