I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
