She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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