ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
