so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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