He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
