my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
